I…am too old for this. By ‘this’ I mean clubbing. I am too old to be going out and hanging out in bars and clubs. I do not have the stamina required to deal with being surrounded by twenty-year olds and their loud yelling and drunken selves.
Let me explain.
So, the other night I went out with my best friend, Renae, for her younger sister’s 20th. It was in a private room in the back of this pub. There were three platters lovingly prepared by Renae’s mum, most of which were eaten by the two of us.
It was fun…until the other 20-year olds started to show up. I think I saw her sister’s friends eat maybe half a dozen things, but they never didn’t have a drink in their hand. Seriously. What?
And they’re carrying around parkers and wearing sneakers. Since when were parkers a good idea when you’re going out clubbing. The second you step into a club and are surrounded by people that thing is coming off and then what. You just…hold it? Put it on a chair and hope it doesn’t get taken while you’re off dancing your cushioned feet off?
One girl wrapped hers around her waist and it looked like she was wearing a pool floaty.
And the sneakers. When did everyone start wearing sneakers to clubs? Back in my day…which was only six years ago by the way. Girls went out in their most comfortable heels (which after five hours of dancing were not comfortable no matter how much you tried to convince yourself). Our feet were sore, but damn did we look and feel good about how we looked. It didn’t matter if it was fifteen degrees out and our tops had no sleeves because we knew as soon as we got inside it wouldn’t matter.
We’d get loaded at pre-drinks because the drinks at bars/clubs’ cost anywhere from $10-$25. I’m not even kidding. We went to order a long island iced tea for Renae’s sister and the bartender told us it would be $25 and not even that good.
Not sure if they’re meant to smack talk their own drinks but hey, I just thought it was ridiculous that a single drink cost $25.
Thing is though, these ridiculous prices did not seem to bother this group of 20-year old’s. Out of a group of 20 I only saw maybe two or three without a drink in their hand. Seeing as Renae and I had grabbed the best spot in the house, corner seat next to the table of food, I had a good view of whenever these kids came back into the room.
Now look, I’m not even that bothered about the sneakers and the puffy jackets. I still think a light jacket would be more practical for clubbing but sure. I think they’re dumb for not coming pre tipsy and spending so much money on overpriced cocktails, but maybe since they’ve jumped the gun with learning about comfortable shoes, they missed the lesson on pre drinks.
What really bothers me is the volumes they reach when they do get drunk. And their complete lack of responsibility.
This one girl, she was dancing around like a sugar high toddler and slipped which resulted in her knocking over a glass. It shattered on the floor and this little group just started laughing and turned their backs to it. Meanwhile Renae and I are sitting in the corner wondering how long it’s going to take for someone else to slip and land on that glass.
So, we tried to get this girls attention and then the attention of the guy she was with to tell them to go get a bartender with a dustpan and brush. These kids are zero fucks to give. They did not care that there was glass on the floor or that they were the reason it was there. Eventually they went and told a bartender…maybe, we’re still not sure about whether or not they did. When they came back though they were both very obnoxious with how they told us it was taken care of.
Let me tell you, I was very close to ripping off one of those dramatically flailed arms and beating the two of them with it.
Well if the glass bothered you so much, why didn’t you go and get a bartender? You might be asking. Well good sir/madam/person, I will tell you why.
While this pack of bratlings looked like they should be sitting their year ten exams, they are in fact adults and need to learn to be responsible for their actions. I am not their mum, their friend, or their mum friend. Their drunken asses are not mine to take care of.
Had one of them injured themselves then yes, of course I would go and help. We were however trying to avoid the injury altogether.
They’re all so loud as well. Because of how loud they all are Renae and I found out far more than we ever needed to know about one girl’s cheating ex-boyfriend, that she will probably end up getting back together with despite the fact that he cheated on her and some other girl for a whole year before they got together.
Oh yes. A whole year.
Scandalous I know.
By the time we left the bar at 9pm, we were both cold, tired and had headaches. I don’t think I could’ve been paid enough money to go out clubbing after that.
Now I am a night owl through and through. Give me a comfy seat, or hell even a non-comfy one, and a good book/show/movie/video game and I will be up until the very early hours of the morning. I can stay up till the sun comes up so long as whatever I’m doing is able to be done in my comfy pants with my cat next to me. The second you require me to go outside I demand to be home by ten.
Four months, 1 week and 2 days until I officially begin my quarter life crisis. All this lead up stuff is just unofficial life crisis.
S.J Smith Books 