I have had too many conversations about this season of Australian MAFS. Not just today or this week but in general. Imma say it now, I have fulfilled my quota for reality TV talk. To emphasise this let me just write an entire post revolving around a conversation I had about MAFS.
Just to clarify, I did not start the conversation, I didn’t even mention anything related. One of my co-workers is a little obsessed with reality tv and I find that as boring as they find video games and reading.
Anyways, they start telling me about these two couple from the episode the night before. The mature aged couple and the PR rep and her health and fitness husband.
He wants someone with an adventurous side and she wants level headed. I wanted to not be a part of the conversation, but I had to suffer so now so do you.
Anyways, I head all about this PR rep and how she a wild party girl and how she’s obviously not ready to settle down or start a family. She got drunk at the wedding and was how embarrassing it was to do that in front of people she’d just met. She was all over him, and he was holding her up while they were dancing.
As someone with wild raging anxiety, I feel the excessive drinking thing. I too have self-medicated my anxieties with alcohol. Was it a good idea? Lord no, but I didn’t feel anxious at the time. Just agonised over everything that I did and didn’t say while I was intoxicated for at least 10 to 12 business days.
I was then shown the clips featuring the adventurous PR rep and her new “husband”. There was an incident causing her to be late for the ceremony. From experience delays to one’s wedding ceremony can be very stressful. How about meeting a whole host of new people?
Fuck me, I want to self-medicate just thinking about it.
Throughout the reception the newly minted couple were all over each other. The stepsister made comments about how flirty her new sister-in-law was and there may have been a comment about the SS’s spectacular tits. That really went down like a lead balloon with the SS.
The bride suggested a game of Fuck, Marry, Kill and the groom had no idea what that was. The next morning, she made a comment about how he was too nice. “How can someone be too nice?” was a question that I was asked.
Really easily actually.
Now by this point I’ve heard more than enough about what a terrible person she is who isn’t ready for marriage and only wants to be with a walking red flag instead of the nice guy.
Honestly? I’d probably run from the “nice guy” too. I have run from the “nice guy”. I don’t mean the self-proclaimed nice guys either. No, I mean the actual guys who are so nice and innocent and just all around lovely and how could anyone dislike them.
If you yourself are not a “nice” person, you’re going to break these people. Either by breaking them in or breaking them down. Either way you end up being the bad guy.
Ask me how I know.
Actually, please don’t.
I’m not saying that this couple is going to end up working out or that they’re going to fail massively. I’m not even saying either of them are bad people. What I am saying is that I am too goddamned old and tired to be a part of conversations like this.
Also that the Australian version of any dating/marriage simulator show is done purely for ratings. Like the mature aged couple that is adorable as all hell, they would’ve been a fan favourite from the start. And the adventurous free spirit who dared to flirt with her new fake husband is going to be the source of drama.
Could we also note the fact that no where in this conversation that I had was it mentioned how the groom couldn’t keep his hands off the bride. How dare the young woman drink to excess on her wedding day and then make out with someone she is somewhat-sort-of-not-really legally tied to.
As a side note, the weather in Perth this past month can absolutely gtfo and return to the seventh ring of hell from whence it came.
**The title of this post makes as much sense as the show that inspired it**
S.J Smith Books 