Merry Dickmas

Merry Dickmas to all.

So, some of you may remember me mentioning the time that my brother Jesse was confused by someone’s paying it forward. If not, I suggest going back and reading my post Life doesn’t go to plan.

I’ll wait.

Now that you’re back. That night when Matt and I got home we decided to um…mess with my brother just a little bit more. Matt remembered that you could send certain phallic shaped lollies to people anonymously.

So, we did just that.

One box of dick lollies arrived at my brothers’ workplace two weeks later. That was in June.

I confirmed with my oldest brother Adam that Jesse had in fact received the lollies and was confused as all fuck about where they came from and why. He had asked everyone at work and all his friends. It didn’t take long.

Fast forward to Christmas day and he had yet to figure out that it was in fact I that had sent the lollies. Now mum made all of us our own Christmas crackers out of PVC pipe and some felt that she embroidered Christmas themed characters onto with out name. Everyone would get something for their cracker. When we were kids mum and dad would buy us a little something but as we got older and got partners then the partners would get a little something. You catch my drift.

Any who, this year I supplied the cracker presents.

It was glorious.

The look on his face when he opened it was…mildly disappointing to be honest. It had not yet clicked. Gave it ten seconds and suddenly it dawned on him.

You know what…you can watch it for yourselves. My gift to you.

I truly don’t know what could’ve made that lunch better.

Aside from having the whole family in the same place for the first Christmas in years and the great food and mum’s chocolate swirl cheesecake.

By the way that snickering you hear from my mum is because I made her dick shaped marzipan covered in chocolate because she doesn’t like lollies.

Also my 12 year old nephew was upset that he didn’t get dick lollies and instead got marvel chocolates with frosting filling…My niece was oblivious to everything, as she should be when there are dicks at the table.

I hope that everyone had a great Christmas or at least not a shitty one.