My dad. There’s so much that I could say about my dad. Growing up I was a daddy’s little girl through and through. We had inside jokes and our own secrets. We would run through scenes from Friends without missing a beat.
As I got older I started to bond more with mum as the issues I faced changed in nature. But I never stopped going to him when I needed comfort. Anytime I needed straight up advice I would go to mum. With mum it was always advice and then comfort, unless I was really upset and then the comfort came first.
With dad it’s always comfort and then an offer to help conceal the body.
Dad was there every time some guy who wasn’t worth my time hurt me. Every time he held me as I cried and asked me, “Is he worth this?” So often the answer was no. So here’s what we’re going to do, we’re going to take a journey to the past and revisit the highlight reel of all the times my dad has come to my rescue or just in general been a great dad…or even just a funny pain in the ass. I’ll let you figure out which is which.
- One of my all time faves. One time when I was 16 and on a Police Ranger camp (my dad has run the Police Rangers where we live since I was like nine) at the PCYC, I was PMSing hard, I was cramping and miserable. Like many who knew me they knew it was best to leave me be until I came for comfort. My boyfriend at the time did not seem to understand me when I asked him to leave me alone. He kept calling and messaging me and while on the phone asking him to just leave me to my misery, crying in frustration all the while, my dad walks into the office where I had holed myself up. He overhears the conversation and sees me crying, takes the phone from me and tells my boyfriend that he needs to back off and give me space like I’ve asked and hung up. Then dad gave me a hug and chocolate and we watched Friends together.
- When I was 12 and my mum went to Margaret River with my SIL and her family for the hens weekend, for whatever reason my dad and I had the house to ourselves. I think my other brother was staying with a friend. Dad and I reorganized the lounge set in the lounge room so it resembled a sunken lounge sort of deal. We filled it with blankets and pillows and set up the TV. We stayed up late binge watching Friends and eating junk food.
- Whenever he would read us books at bedtime he would use different voices for every different character. His favourite book to read us was Something in the Bathtub. I don’t know why, it was just his favourite, we even had to find him a new copy because his original had fallen apart and been taped together so many times it was getting a bit sad.
- The time that I had broken up with a guy and still had one of his jumpers. Knowing that I wanted to avoid as much interaction with this ex as possible he drove the getaway car while I dropped the jumper, wrapped up safely in a plastic bag, at the front door. I received a very upset text message later because I had bothered to say hello but it wasn’t a great breakup so I have no regrets.
- Every time we’ve ever gone to a toy section together while shopping with mum. We like to push ALL the buttons…and then walk away very quickly.
- All the times he would call me in the morning to make sure that I got up for school in time. I don’t want to mention the exact number of calls he had to make one morning but it was a lot….Got to school in time though.
- Driving me to work every Christmas so that I didn’t have to deal with trying to find parking in the middle of the day during the Christmas rush.
- The way he pushed my book on everyone he knows. He’s even gotten me a few sales as well.
- Being my go to for any law enforcement type questions when I’m working on my books.
I searched through old Facebook statuses and any book that I wrote down things I liked in for these.
Conversations with my father:
- While giving him a hard time about something he says, “I’d stab you in the heart if you had one.”
- That time he told me to Hakuna my Tatas
- Not a conversation but when he stole candy from my desk not realizing that they were sour warheads and put six in his mouth at once. He regretted that one.
- We park at the shopping centre next to a VW bug that’s for sale. He asks if I can imagine myself in one. He then suggests that we check if the doors are unlocked because then I wouldn’t have to imagine…
- When I told him that his handwriting was pretty and he got very offended.
- Me: I have a hair appointment tomorrow.
Dad: A what?
Me: A hair appointment.
Dad: Why? What’s wrong with your rabbit?
I didn’t even get this terrible dad joke until I found it the other day. - Dad: What’s that thing crawling up your wall?
Me: What thing?
Dad: The remote.
Me: Well it must be a remote then. - Dad and I were discussing how I forgot to clean the doors.
Dad: You didn’t see the doors tapping you on your shoulder saying ‘clean me’? Rub my knob…door knob. - I asked dad to put the kettle on.
Dad: Now what?
I turn around and he has the kettle on his head. - Mum asked dad to turn the oven on. He starts stroking the oven door.
Dad: Mmm I love you baby, you’re so hot. - We were discussing how cats communicate and what they would talk to us about.
Dad: If only our names were Dr Dolittle…well actually yours would be Shannon do-little
(As a side note…How weird does the word little look? I don’t think I’ve actually typed the word out for almost a year.) - I’m doing maths homework in year 12.
Dad: When the hell are you ever going to use this shit?”
Me: I’m very sure I’ve been asking you this ever since I started highschool. - Dad: Oh stop being a girl.
Me: Now that you’ve said that I’ve magically grown a penis. - When I was waking up one morning and dad walks in his hand covering the opening to a jar with a spider in it. He holds the jar over me. I swore…a lot.
- Dad: It’s hard to soar like and eagle when you’re flying with ducks.
Me: Yeah, lame ducks. - Dad: I’d stab you but I’d break the end of the knife off in your frozen heart.
- And one of dad’s all time favourite questions to ask, don’t ask my why because I can’t tell you.
Dad: What is the capital of Lichtenstein ….Vaduz.
I don’t know either but he just really enjoyed asking people this. It was his little piece of trivia. - Dad It’s hard to soar like an eagle when you’re flying with ducks, lame ducks
Me: They’re not even ducks, they’re like chickens or penguins but not as cool. - The first time that he met Matt, he was on his way to work and wearing his police uniform. That was the least intimidating first meet of all my boyfriends to be honest.
- Every time I’d go to tell him a really long winded story and he’d tell me to send him an email.
Now before anyone questions whether or not child protective services should’ve been contacted at some point during my youth for those stabby ones, let me just say that my dad and I have an amazing relationship. There’s also so many more conversations and incidents that I could put here but this post would never end so maybe I’ll just save them for next year.
Honestly I don’t know where I’d be right now if it weren’t for my dad. My mum always made it clear to us what it is that we deserve from relationships; love, respect, to feel safe and secure. But dad was the first man to ever take care of me, the first man to hold me when I was hurt or scared or sad. He was the one to show me how I should be treated.
Honestly it’s no wonder none of the guys I dated lasted very long….winky face!
Lol jokes.
But seriously.
Only one person that I’ve dated has ever come close to my dad and even then there’s been times when I’ve had to get dad to let him in on a few things. I cut Matt some slack because he’s an only child that went to an all boys school and didn’t spend enough time around his female cousins to really understand women that well.
Dad kinda spoilt me.
I have had friends over the years who don’t have good relationships with their dad’s, and more often then not it’s definitely for the better. Their dad’s are missing out as well. They were also physically, verbally or psychologically abusive though so they can go die in a hole for hurting my friends even it was before we had ever met.
I feel for those who have lost dad’s they loved. I’m happy for those who have been able to replace a bad dad with a good one. I’m forever grateful that my dad is here, that he’s a good man and a great father.
Love you daddy x
S.J Smith Books 