So as of last week I got the trifecta. The “I don’t get paid enough for this” trifecta. The when did parents stop cleaning up after their own kids trifecta.
Allow me to explain.
Since we moved to our new store I have had the gross misfortune of cleaning up three things that are excreted from the body. A few summers ago I got to clean up the vomit of three different children in one day. It wasn’t their fault the poor little bubs. It was a ridiculously hot day so I’m not surprised that they weren’t feeling well. It just went down in store history as the day so many children threw up.
The next type that I got to clean up was crap. Like…actual human shit. I kid you not. I don’t know why or who. I just know that under the bench where people can wait for their partners or parents etc to finish going through the register, there was shit. No…I assume it was a child but really I don’t actually know.
I think I’d just like to think that an adult has more control over their bodily functions and did not shit on the floor.
Let’s just say that when I told the store manager about it, he was both grossed out and found it hilarious. Honestly kinda same. Like…it was a whole lot of who and why and dear god we don’t get paid enough for any of this. I think it was really just a if you don’t laugh you will cry situation.
This brings us to the other day. One of the guys from service comes over the headset asking for a mop and bucket because a kid has peed in the self-service area.
I had to get him to repeat it because I hoped I’d misheard.
No no. I did not.
So the whole time I’m preparing this mop and bucket I’m imagining all the different scenarios that could’ve occurred which resulted in this child peeing in the self serve. Were his parents not paying attention and he decided to try and pee in one of the bins (actually would’ve been a funny story). Did he do it just to be a jerk? How old was the kid? Did he know better?
No I never considered that it might’ve been a girl. Sexist? Possibly. I would like to point out that in all my years I have only even known guys to be able to just go wherever they wanted with the greatest of ease. Women try and do that and there’s a whole ordeal we gotta deal with.
For starters, no aim.
Also it’s a lot more noticeable when someone is squatting down to pee than if they just turn their back and unzip their pants.
This has gone hella off track.
Anyways.
So I get down to the service area with the mop and bucket and sure as the shit I cleaned up last year there is a small child with a puddle of pee under him. He is sitting in the child seat of the trolley and his mum hasn’t a care in the world. Just makes an observation that he needs a nappy change….
Yes thanks for that Sherlock.
The fact that the kid was wearing a nappy and it didn’t soak up the pee, he’s already gone in that thing and needed a change well and truly before now.
Look things happen. That’s life. Kids are kids, they don’t have the control over their bodily functions that adults have. I’d never begrudge a child having an accident or being sick. Unless they’re old enough to know better and they’re doing it purely out of spite.
I’ve never come across this kind of child myself but I’ve heard some crazy stories.
The fact of the matter remains that with the exception of one mother of a vomiting child, none of the other parents offered to clean up their child’s mess. In the case of the human crap incident, they just left it there.
I get that it can be a bit embarrassing when your child has an accident especially when it’s out in public, but you know what, you’re an adult now. You signed up for all these embarrassing situations when you had the kid. Clean up after them.
I’m no stranger to accidents in public. When I was a toddler I threw up all the time. I was really sick and the doctors weren’t sure what was wrong with me. They finally figured out I was a coeliac but until then it was still unknown as to why I was throwing up all the time.
Whenever we went out to the shops it was a toss up whether or not I would…toss my cookies. Or in my case the delightful fettucine carbonara that my mum had lovingly prepared for me as it was the only thing I would eat. I think at one point I threw up in Kmart. It was mostly on myself but still. My parents still cleaned it up.
If you or your kid knocks something off the shelf, do you pick it up and put it back or keep walking, leaving it for someone else?
Your answer to that question says a lot about you and I’m judging.
Last week while working I witnessed a guy walking down the baby aisle with his partner, out of nowhere he grabs a packet of nappies off the shelf and whacks her with it. I think it was meant to be a “playful” thing. Any who, he chucked it back on the shelf and it decided to jump off and attack him. He swore at it, kicked it and kept walking.
That is until I berated him and told him to put it back on the shelf. He was obviously embarrassed at having been called out and swore the whole time. Even heard him swearing at me under his breath when we passed each other a few aisles down. His partner was obviously amused at the fact that he’d been called out. I don’t care that he was swearing at me. This late 20’s something guy with a ratty that went out of style before he was born, honestly don’t understand why it was ever a thing to begin with but whatever, had a sense of entitlement so strong I could’ve choked him with it.
So yes, I as an employee called out a douche bag for being a douche bag. Something I’ve taken great pleasure in doing for many years.
Side story. One time I was in Spudshed with Matt and we were down different aisles when this guy down my aisle knocked some products off a display, he stopped for a second as if contemplating fixing it up but then just kept walking down the aisle. So I asked if he was seriously just going to leave it like that. He claimed he was coming back to it but his whole walking away made me doubtful.
He also glared at me when we crossed paths at the registers.
Apparently I’m lawful neutral. From what I’ve read very briefly…that tracks.
Let me make something clear here.
If you or someone you are responsible for made a mess or caused a mess to be made, you clean it up. Do not leave it for someone else to do. If you knock something off the shelf, you pick it up because you’re the reason it fell, do not just leave it on the floor because “it’s the job of the people who work here to pick it up”.
No, you insufferable prick.
It’s not their job to clean up after you and your spawn. You want someone who’s job it is, hire someone. Pay them to clean up after you. There, your laziness has a solution.
If you don’t want to be treated like a dick, don’t be one.
Now there’s going to be someone who says to me, “Well if you just didn’t confront them then they wouldn’t glare at your or swear at you.” Yes, that’s very true. They wouldn’t. However I’ve been told that stress is bad for the heart.
My heart may already be dead and cold but I still feel the stress. And what stresses me out is knowing that I had the chance to call an asshole out and I didn’t. So this, this is my great stress relief.
My house is by no means 100% clean and tidy 100% of the time. Not even close. When I lived with my parents I used to deep clean my room (never to my mother’s standards but it was still decent) every few months because I would get fed up with the mess. Every time I would swear to myself that I wouldn’t let it get back to the way it was before….
Yeah that never lasted.
Sometimes a week would go by before the clothes started piling up on the chair in the corner or there would be a random assortment of water bottles or papers stacked up somewhere. Rinse. Repeat.
It’s actually almost easier to keep a house tidy than it is one room.
Hear me out.
So as many would know, when you live with your parents and have siblings, your stuff is often in one room. Especially when you reach teenagedom because god forbid we be forced to interact with other people.
From personal experience I had 80% of my books, my Playstation, computer desk etc all in my bedroom. Mum figured out ways to organize the room so that I had as much space as possible and dad implemented these brainstorms by being the handy man.
Notice the little shelves? They did not come with the desk, they were built in. There’s also a shelf on the back of the desk for the power board to sit so that there weren’t cables everywhere on the floor for the cat to get tangled in. One of the shelves on the right that has Matt’s laptop had my Playstation and I at one point had two computer screens, one that was hooked up to the playstation so I could watch movies and play games at the same time.
If I kept that desk organized and without extra piles of crap on the sides then it looked really good and I was able to easily work at my desk. But I also had the same stuff in this one room.
With a whole house there’s different rooms for different stuff. Crazy right. Plus, there’s currently no kids taking up any of those rooms. Well…Except for Matt.
My library is at the front of the house and we also have a study set up in one of the bedrooms. Now the study was for him when he was studying and working from home. However back when he first started working from home he didn’t like the study because it got too hot….
Kid never heard of turning on the aircon or moving the fan in there apparently.
He was starting to get very miserable working in that room all the time so I let him relocate to my library. More natural light, cooler throughout the day and no blinding sun coming through the window in the afternoon.
He liked it and decided to stay there…
This relegated me to the couch or the dining table.
Why?
Because he took the desk chair and the chair I have in the library is too low for the aforementioned desk.
Let’s just say that the couch and the dining table got very cluttered whenever I was working.
The situation has now been rectified which I’ll do a post about later because I wanna post some cute progress pics and this one is getting long as it is.
My point was this, whenever everyone is in their designated rooms with their designated things, the house is a bit tidier. My note books and pens and research aren’t spread out where we’re trying to eat dinner anymore. The room already looks tidier by that fact alone.
When the house does get messy for whatever reason, maybe we’ve both been really busy with work, it’s been a really exhausting week, maybe the dishes have piled up or the couch is covered in cat fluff, I don’t expect any guests to clean up for me.
Hell, if we’re having guests over I can at least do the dishes and quickly de-fluff the couch. If they turn up unannounced then they deal with it. If I have warning I tidy up a bit. My mum used to be a cleaner for some medical businesses, I don’t invite her over and expect her to clean up my house because she used to be a cleaner. It’s not her job to pick up after me. I am an adult. I can clean up after myself.
Same goes for any friends that come over. I have one friend who borrowed my kitchen to make some cheesecakes while we were catching up. This friend cleaned up after themselves because they made a mess. They didn’t then go ahead and clean up the rest of the house because that would’ve been weird, and I’d feel terrible.
There are always going to be exceptions to every rule.
A customer drops something and are physically unable to get down to pick it up or clean it up. Of course, I will go and help because I’m not a complete asshole.
Just a somewhat asshole.
Like I said before lawful neutral. Do the right thing and I won’t be an asshole to you.
Not saying I’m Batman but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same place? No. You haven’t. So…there we go.
S.J Smith Books 