A love of reading. Something I can thank my parents for. Both of them loved to read us stories. They were very different readers.
Mum was the kind of reader who commanded the room. She spoke and you listened. She told stories with such…I can’t even find the word to describe it.
When my oldest brother, Adam was in hospital getting his tonsils out, my mum read The lion, the witch and the wardrobe. After a while she apologised to the other mother and son in the shared room if she was too loud but they told her not to worry as they had enjoyed listening. They listened to her read all day.
My dad used voices. Every character had a different voice. For some reason I specifically remember him reading one of the Franklin books to me at bedtime when I was about five or six. His favourite book to read though was “There’s something in the bathtub”. I don’t know why but it just was and remains to this day his favourite book to read to any children. Mum even managed to track down a new copy as his original had fallen apart and been stuck back together so many times it was starting to look a little tatty.
Suffice it to say, when this whole social distancing thing is over and my parents are able to have the grandkids stay the night, I have no doubt that dad will be telling my niece about Henry Higgins and his bathtub adventures. And my nephew will pretend he’s not listening because he’s too cool for bedtime stories but secretly he’s loving it.
For me the natural progression from my love of reading was to develop a love of writing. I remember the first story I ever wrote and read in front of a crowd. I was seven and it was about flying. As any kid would I included the people I loved the most, my family. My other brother Jesse was so embarrassed. He’s three years older than I am so we spent most of our school lives running into each other and here I was standing in front of our entire primary school reading a short story that included him.
Oh the humanity!
As much as my brother hated it though, that was how much other people liked it. My teachers thought it was incredibly well written for a seven year old (though when you’ve spent a year reading years above your age group that will happen). I think if they hadn’t seen me writing it in class they would’ve thought dad had done it for me. I’ve been writing ever since.
There have been a number of times when I’ve doubted myself. I’ve wondered if I had what it took. Do I have good enough ideas? Am I talented enough? All of these thoughts made me very self-conscious about sharing my writing with anyone. I was so nervous to show anyone my first finished manuscript that if I hadn’t watched the right movie at the right time it could very possibly still be metaphorically gathering dust on my hard drive.
I can admit right here and now that I enjoy a good musical movie. One night I was re-watching Sister Act 2 for the two dozenth time and it got to the scene where Sister Mary Clarence gave Rita Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke.
That scene changed my whole mindset. That was my moment of certainty. I have had moments of doubt since then, mum has always reminded me that I’m a good writer. My partner reminds me that my book was the first one that he read all the way through and enjoyed since he read the Alex Rider books when he was fourteen.
Now could they be just telling me what I want to hear, kind of like those rejects from American Idol who say that all their friends and family have told them they’re amazing at singing when really they’ve just been lied to their whole lives?
It’s entirely possible.
I would hope that my friends and family have been honest with me otherwise it’s going to be a very awkward launch when my book comes out and everyone who reads it tells me how terrible it is.
I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
As a closing note, there was something that my mum used to say to me, I don’t know if she saw it somewhere or it was just part of her infinite wisdom; If there is a story that you want to read that hasn’t been written yet, then write it.
And that is what I’ve done. I will be posting some excerpts from my book in the next few weeks so stay tuned for that, hopefully you like it, but if you don’t you don’t. I don’t think there has ever been a book written that suited every bodies tastes.
S.J Smith Books 