I don’t need to tell all of you that the world has gone crazy. There’s no toilet paper in the stores after 9am. There’s limits on long life milk, paper towels, tissues and canned tomatoes. Not all canned veggies mind you, just the tomatoes. As of this coming Monday there will even be limits on how many customers are allowed in our stores.
Yay for being abused for measures put in place to protect everyone. Gotta love it.
There’s also people walking around wearing face coverings and gloves, cancelling out the effectiveness of both of these by touching everything they possibly can and then touching their faces when they adjust their scarves/surgical masks/shirts/gas masks/plastic bags/clingwrap.
They even fail to notice the irony when it is pointed out to them.
By the way…you did read that correctly. It’s not a typo. I said cling wrap. As in the stuff you use to cover food with before you put it in the fridge. For anyone who is still unsure I have included visual aids.
I’m sure you can imagine how this looked but please, allow me.
But like…all over the face.
There is a bit of a story that goes with this so strap in kids, we’re going for ride.
Since this whole Covid-19 global pandemic started people have come into my work in more and more elaborate outfits. Some of them I think are purely taking the piss. Such as the guy who came in last week with a bucket on his head. He cut out eye holes so he could see but and acted like he wasn’t being weird.
There was also the person who came in wearing a full hazmat suit. How they got their hands on it, I don’t know…After a quick google search they are available for roughly $400AUD. You can also get the disposable ones that you see forensic people wearing in shows for as little as $15 (someone else came in wearing one of those).
Being classed as an essential worker really is one of those “if you don’t laugh you cry” situations. I for one have chosen to laugh. And clearly some of these guys have too. I wish I had photos. I really do. I also wish that I could get a group shot of all of them together.
Yesterday I was told a story, one I couldn’t believe but at the same time did not shock me nearly as much as it should’ve. A man came into the store, his face wrapped in what I’m assuming was the only form of personal protective equipment he could find in the house. He grabbed a plastic bag from the fresh produce section and grabbed a trolley (holding the handle with the bag). I’d like to point out that we have antibacterial wipes for use on the trolleys so this isn’t a thing that needed to be done.
The man then went and did his shopping, touching goods, the plastic bag, his phone, his face. Eventually he made his way to the 12 items or less lane where one of our checkout operators noticed why he kept touching his face. He had wrapped clingwrap around his head and had to keep pulling the plastic away from his mouth so he could breathe.
Any and all attempts he made to avoid the germs was negated by the touching of his face.
I heard this story and I couldn’t believe it. Was there really someone out there, dumb enough to wrap clingwrap around their head? Another google search told me that there was. It was actually a challenge that people did, so, there’s that.
Today though, I was asked to work and I saw him.
The myth.
The legend.
CLING WRAP HEAD!
It was funnier that I imagined. Also mildly concerning. I hope that if this guy has kids now or ever that he does not teach them things. Thankfully he had learnt his lesson from yesterday and had stretched the cling wrap a little further to the side so he had some room to breathe.
I don’t really know how to end this post so I’ll just leave you with this;
There are those who learn by observation and there are those that learn by experimentation. Then there are those who have to wrap their heads in clingwrap to see if it’ll suffocate them.
S.J Smith Books 